Conversations

February 6th, 2010

I’m doing some experimenting with my management system, since it’s not as efficient as it could be. I’ve become more lenient than I should have. However, tightening up again has so far resulted in mostly misery, which I’m taking as a sign that the approach I’ve been trying isn’t natural to me or my students, a poor fit. It’s a work in progress.

 

I have been thinking so much about management for a few reasons. Superficially, there’s been a lot more observation lately and I need to be in full control of my classroom. More fundamentally, with a lot of our objectives still not fulfilled, efficiency is more important than ever. But I’ve also had a few enlightening conversations lately, one with my roommate, who teaches 9th grade English and has also been having management woes. He’s realized that in order for management to be effective, kids need to own why they’re being punished, especially for chronic cases, and a consequence for the sake of a consequence is not really helpful.

I’ve realized that many of the consequences available to me are merely consequences for the sake of consequences, which I think is at the root of why I’ve been sparing with the write-up. I’m not bothered by punishing a kid who deserves it; though I’d love it if all my students loved me, I won’t lose any sleep if they dislike me for administering consequences justly. But I’ve gotten the sense that in-school suspension, for many students, is simply a wrist-slap.

 

Which brings me to the conversation I had today with P, a student in my fourth hour. P spent lunch in my room because he wanted to study for his economics test, and he got put out (mistakenly) of his 6th period class, my prep period. We got onto the subject of discipline because of this circumstance, and he argued that corporal punishment is a much more effective system than ISD, because all students would want to avoid corporal punishment, while not all see the negative effects of ISD.

 

“To me, a write up is just as bad as a whupping,” he said (and I’m paraphrasing a bit), “because then when I go to ISD my grades will drop, and my dad will find out and punish me, I won’t get to go to the game, won’t get to holler at any girls, you know” (that part was a direct quote) “so I see why I want to avoid that. But other kids just don’t see that. They go to ISD, get out, think, oh, ok, now that’s over. And they keep acting the same.”

 

Pretty insightful. Combined with his observations on others in his class (“you know they just act like that because they think your reactions are funny”) and the distinction between fair and equal—not everyone has the same burdens, but we’ve all got to deal with burdens anyway—it was an enlightening conversation.

 

We also talked about teaching style. “Learning just isn’t fun anymore,” he said, and then qualified it—math is, sometimes, and science, and English used to be—and I asked him what distinguished a “fun” subject/class from a not fun one. And his response was hugely telling. Comparing his two English teachers, he said that he enjoyed Mr. X’s class, because they’d read something independently, then interpret it, teacher and student together. In Ms. Y’s class, though, they read, interpret, and are graded on their independent interpretation—apparently before any modeling or guiding happens. Sometimes, P said, it made him almost scared to go to class.

 

It seems like an obvious point, that fear of failure is prevalent here. It also seems an obvious conclusion that often, the reason students don’t do their work is not because they’re lazy, or fighting authority; it’s simply because they don’t know how and are afraid to fail. This is something that’s easy to forget when on the other side of the red pen, when you know how to solve quadratic equations or read Shakespeare, but it’s also easy enough to remember not always knowing how to do those things.

 

I try not to judge other teachers (a silly thing to do based on less than a year of experience, anyway, and not helpful to anyone) particularly based on such a small sample size of information. I’ve been very lucky to have had intensive training on the lesson cycle and release of responsibility to the students. I believe that a number of already very good teachers I work with would benefit from the professional development I’ve had, as I would benefit from their years of experience. I’m nowhere near being able to diagnose the achievement gap, or even its particular manifestation in the Delta, my district, my school, but one part of the problem is that good, well-intentioned, intelligent teachers are simply missing training, knowledge and professional resources.

 

It’s tempting sometimes, when hearing “learning should be fun!” to scoff. Hey, they’re here to learn something. I shouldn’t have to dance around and juggle and jump through hoops, right? But P’s conversation reminded me I don’t have to—well, not for some students. Some students could use a little confetti and hoop-jumping, if only as an attention grabber. But isn’t curiosity a pretty fundamental human drive? Learning something new is evolutionarily rewarding, so it makes sense that it’s a pleasure. So at the very least, my lessons should not impede the natural reward of discovery.

Resolution

January 26th, 2010

(For some reason, either this blogging site hates Firefox or Firefox hates this site… this post was written right after winter break but I have not been able to post it until now.)

 

It’s a new year, and the Class of 2010 is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as we reach the year of their graduation. All through break, I have been fluctuating between excitement and nervousness about today, the first day of the second semester. Halfway through the day, I’ve definitely come down on the side of excitement.

 

I pretty quickly realized I could never follow the chestnut “don’t smile until after Christmas.” Well, it’s after Christmas now, and I’m glad, because today has made me smile freely and now I can do so without feeling guilty! I can say honestly that I was (at least a teeny bit) happy to see each and every student that walked through my door today. After a long day of district meetings (and car breakdowns) yesterday, it was good to be reminded of the real reasons I am here.

 

Today I introduced my new public tracking system, and had the kids reflect on the big goal in relation to themselves by filling out a sheet of “five essential questions.” Some took it more seriously than others (one kid filled in “Kloe Kardashian” for the person he would most want to see him succeed…) but the bright spot of the day was third period.

 

The third period mastery column on my public tracking chart has the fewest green Ys (meaning mastery of an objective). As I was making the chart, I was worried that this would be discouraging. In fact, it was just the opposite. The kids right away picked up on the discrepancy—and got competitive. T was leading the charge. He has had a huge attitude change recently. For the “why” question (why is this class/my goal important?) he wrote “Because math is an important subject and real part of an individual life it teaching you how to use numbers and I really need math and this class will give you another step to learning all the math you can learn in high school” A run-on sentence, maybe, but the mindset it conveys is a major, fantastic turnaround for him. He’s still quite goofy (he spent a decent chunk of time pretending the mastery chart was insulting him, and talking back to it) but now he’s being goofy and caring about the class, not being goofy just to derail the class. It’s changed the whole atmosphere of third period.

 

The Other Side of the Coin

December 18th, 2009

When I was a high school student, I didn’t realize that my teachers might have agonized more about my tests than I did.

I get it now.

Grading tests is, for me, a little like watching a sporting event. I’ve scouted the competitors but there is always a bit of uncertainity. Also inevitable frustration and joy. More joy than frustration this time. All my students scored above a 50. A 50 may not seem like much to celebrate, but some of these students declined to even attempt the first test I gave them. No one did that this time around. Raising kids’ confidence levels is one of the big battles I fight. Even when they do know the material but don’t initially recognize how to solve a problem, many get frustrated and give up. J, one of my Learning Strategies students, exemplifies this. J speaks often but half-under her breath. From these murmurs, I’ve learned she helps her mom sell Avon, goes to bed far too late, and shares a bedroom with her cousin. She also has a wonderful imagination (as evidenced by her responses to some of my lateral thinking problems) and is convinced she won’t pass Algebra. I am doing my best to encourage the former and discourage the latter.

There are a lot of encouraging signs going into the second half of the year. L, who is smart and overall well-intentioned but easily distracted, told me last Monday that she was going to sit next to my desk, right in front of the board. (She also, like a lot of my students, has trouble seeing and no corrective eyewear.) I, quite happily, agreed to enforce this. Not surprisingly, she did much better on those objectives on her test. T has apparently decided that I am on his side, since he greets me in the hall every time he sees me and continues to ask questions in class. We went over his test on Wednesday. He’s got a habit of throwing out guesses without thinking, and guessed a problem right, but I still made him work through it. I explained I’d rather have him know how to do something and get it wrong than guess right without knowing why.  It’ll take some practice, but I think it will begin to stick.

I know I will miss nearly all of them over the next few weeks, although I will need the peace of a removal from the collective whole of clamoring students. “Peace on earth, good will to men” has a different face this year. I wish for these things particularly to take hold in the halls and streets of my new, small world.

Mid-Year

December 12th, 2009

Apologies to my mother and any other loyal readers for not updating in months. Between enormous events in October and the enormity of small day-to-day trials, many times I could not find the time or the words. But I’m going to give it a shot today.

I was told going in that October was the worst month for new Delta teachers. There are no breaks in October, and it’s the point in the year when the new shininess has worn off the whiteboard, so to speak, but Christmas is still too far away. October also, at my school, includes homecoming week, a time of high student excitement and a low ratio of instructional time to “spirit activities.” Not a recipe for happy teachers. In October, I also tragically lost one of my students, something which has changed me and my class in ways that are still being discovered.

November was, in many ways, better. I think, looking back, that early in November I began feeling less like a crazy outsider and more like a part of my school community. I recognized more kids, learned more about their relationships to each other and their lives. I started having kids from other Algebra classes stopping in my room during break for help. I broke the “don’t smile before Christmas” rule. (Actually, I probably broke it long before.  I dare any teacher to keep this rule during my fifth period class.) I tried teaching my kids some very difficult stuff, with mixed success.
The past few weeks, December, has tested my patience. When I found out I was going to be teaching math, I thought of when I used to help my little sister with her math homework, and how impatient and frustrated I used to get, and I worried. Luckily, I’ve become much more patient than I was in high school; not surprising. But even my new levels have been tested recently. Thanksgiving break gave me a taste, for the first time in six months, of an entirely different world. It was utterly surreal to drive down Mayfair Road and see two lanes of cars on either side of me and stores selling every consumer good imaginable flanking the road. I felt as though the Delta was some sort of very elaborate delusion I’d been maintaining for months. Now that I’m back, I feel the same way about the Midwest.  But I can’t wait to go back for a real break.

I’ve also administered another SATP, been reprimanded by the administration for some utterly inconsequential things, and had a discussion with one of my kids about Catholic theology. (”Why do you talk to that man in the little box?”) There have been some bright spots. One of my kids, T, had been sent to alternative school; he’d been doing nothing in my class and was constantly sullen. Whenever I tried to help him with a problem, he’d ignore me and instead direct questions to one of his classmates. T sent back his packet of work entirely completed, with a request for more examples on some of the problems. He came back to class with a much better attitude, has taken notes almost ever day, and asks ME questions. Not to mention, he got a 93 on the last unit test.

Nine weeks tests are next week, so we’ll see how much I have managed to teach him, and all my other students. That is, once I make copies of them since the front office has apparently misplaced my originals. I’m looking forward to seeing the scores, and to starting fresh after a break.

Inundation

September 20th, 2009

My email inbox has been overflowing with spam comments on this blog, and I realized I hadn’t written in quite some time.
The last week has been interesting, to say the least. I gave my first unit test on Friday. The scores ranged from under ten percent to over one hundred percent (since I never taught how to do the last few questions on the test, I gave them as extra credit). One of my immediate priorities is to use this data to problem solve. Tomorrow, I am leading a discussion with my students on the results, what our class goals should be, and how we can get there. They’ll also set individual goals and make a plan for reaching them. I’m looking forward to some great feedback. I have found that my students are not at all reluctant to question an approach or point out inconsistencies. I try to explain the method behind the madness as much as I can.

Unfortunately, not all of my students will be a part of this goal-setting conversation. In fact, I have not seen some of my students since the past Monday, nor will I see them consistently until next week. This is because, in preparation for the state retest (which happens next week), the students who have not passed one or more tests have been pulled out of normal classes for extensive remediation. Undoubtedly, they need it. However, this has a lot of negative ramifications for my classroom. One, anything I teach during the days when they are gone will need to be made up with these students somehow, at some point. I’ve therefore stopped teaching new material, and this has set back my unit and long term plans. I’ve used the opportunity mostly for remediation–but the students who most need remediation happen to be, in many cases, exactly the students who are missing.

Also, the remediation classes are being held in my hall, so I have been in a different classroom for the past week. My new classroom, the former GED room, has no desks. There are computers around the walls and three long wooden tables down the center of the class. On Thursday, I discovered that one of these tables has a broken leg, as it collapsed during my (re)introduction to graphing absolute value equations. Hopefully, I will be back “home” on Monday. Things will still be in flux, though, since next week is state retesting (which I may have to proctor or monitor) the week after is district testing (which may or may not be rescheduled, and may or may not require the desks from my classroom or another classroom move), and the week after is nine-weeks testing.

This means that I can’t plan on having instructional time available for the teaching of new objectives for nearly a month. This makes me furious, actually, at what is being taken from my students.  For many of them, the seniors, my class is the last encounter they will have with high school math. For some, that means what I teach them is the foundation for math in college. My class may be the last opportunity to expose students to certain skills. Any time lost now means something that I had planned to teach that they will no longer be taught, that they may never now learn. I recognize the approach that’s being taken comes from good intentions, but it is difficult to keep from being frustrated.

Some very positive things have come out of the insanity, however. In the smaller setting, I have gotten to know some of my students better. One of my first period students, who is normally very quiet in class (although first period is small, there are a few veeery talkative students), was chattering away on Thursday–and trying to feed me. Apparently I look hungry. Some other amusing stories from this week–my students find it hilarious that I wear sweaters so often. I wore a turtleneck on Thursday and got compared to Velma from Scooby-Doo. I heard age guesses this week from 20 to 30. And then there are the spontaneous outbursts of singing during practice time.

Friday morning, I turned at the four-way stop, about a block from school, and saw a lake of water and a huge line of cars. After turning around, I turned my phone back on to call the school, and found out that school was canceled. We had a faculty meeting and professional development (I’ll save you the tedium of the details) but I missed my students, and realized what smart, funny, great individuals they are. Next Friday, I’m planning a day to investigate math careers. According to my student surveys, I have many budding nurses, counselors, lawyers, and entrepreneurs. I am enjoying the freedom to branch out a bit and work on investing my students and getting them excited about math.

Continuing in the positive vein, I have had more energy recently than ever before this year. I am improving my ability to plan ahead–for the first time ever this weekend I wrote a plan for my Learning Strategies class ahead of time instead of on my planning period before class takes place. I no longer feel quite so much like I’m neglecting to do something important if I take a bit of personal time in the evening.

I’m going to close by sharing a great website I found while looking for materials for Friday. It reinvigorated me and reminded me that math is really awesome and applicable, and provides answers to that question that every math teacher hears at least once: when am I going to use this? http://www.whenwilliusemath.com/

Walking to Olympia

August 23rd, 2009

In the past two weeks, I have just about tripled my total previous teaching experience in terms of minutes. I’ve also done a lot of walking (there’s a reason my legs hurt every day!) which is not something I had thought about until our speaker at professional Saturday mentioned it.

Here’s the little bit of Socratic wisdom I thought of when I thought about all the steps I take around my classroom yesterday. When some one was apprehending the journey to Olympia, “Why are you afraid of the long distance?” he asked. “Here at home you spend nearly all your day in taking walks. Well, on your road to Olympia you will take a walk and breakfast, and then you will take another walk and dine, and go to bed. Do you not see, if you take and tack together five or six days’ length of walks, and stretch them out in one long line, it will soon reach from Athens to Olympia? I would recommend you, however, to set off a day too soon rather than a day too late. To be forced to lengthen the day’s journey beyond a reasonable amount may well be a nuisance; but to take one day’s journey beyond what is necessary is pure relaxation. Make haste to start, I say, and not while on the road.”

One of the difficult parts of the last two weeks has been the feeling that I am treading water, running to catch up, spinning my wheels, insert metaphor of inadequacy here, not getting anywhere. But every student that gets it in my class is a step forward. My inadequacies as a teacher are glaring to me, but at the end of the day I hold onto the “oh I get this now,” the excited celebrations at getting a problem right, the eagerness to put a problem up on the board. We’re going to Olympia and we’re going to get there one step at a time.

One Week, or, The Post that Covers So Much I Kept Putting Off Writing It

August 15th, 2009

I have now been teaching for five days.

I’d like to write an insightful, eloquent post about my experiences so far, but I don’t think I have that in me at this point. So here are some scattered observations from the past week.

-Right now, being a teacher also means being an actor and an experimenter. An actor because I’m trying to act as though have done this for years rather than days. An experimenter because I’m constantly tweaking my presentation; unfortunately for my first hour class, this makes me a more successful teacher later in the day.

-Teaching consumes your entire life. I stay after school, rewrite my board, and plan. I come home, grade, plan some more… As I drift off to sleep at night I can hear my kids’ voices echoing in my head. I haven’t dreamed of school yet, but I’m sure I will. I wake up, usually before my alarm goes off, and in my half-conscious state scattered thoughts of, yes, school, drift through my head. My feet hit the floor in the morning and my stomach does too. And that’s all in the time I’m not actually at school.

-This is the most exhausting long-term activity I have ever participated in. One day this week, I just about had to prop my eyelids open on the drive home.

-My kids are awesome, and refreshingly straightforward. They are not at all shy about telling me they are confused, or frustrated.

-I am more patient than I ever gave myself credit for.

-For those of you non-Deltans, here are a few key phrases I have learned. “Just playin’”=a teacher’s nightmare, aka joking around. “Telling stories”=lying. “I need to use it”=I need to go to the bathroom.  I am completely fascinated by the language here. My kids think my speech is pretty hilarious sometimes, too.

-My kids think that things like polynomial functions and rational expressions are odd foreign concepts that I have brought with me from faraway Wisconsin. As disturbing as this mindset is, I have the feeling that once they get past the strange names and we actually learn how to do the math, they’ll feel differently. They’ve already been pleasantly surprised at their ability to do composition of functions (why does function notation have to look so intimidating?). In fact, this led to my favorite quote of the week, which I keep in my head when I’m dwelling on the less successful aspects of my teaching: “I learned something today, and I learned something yesterday!”

Mosquitos, ma’am, and Memphis

July 16th, 2009

A very short span of time has taken me across a very large range of emotional ground. Tuesday afternoon, after more sessions, I was feeling hot, itchy, irritable, and worried: that I wouldn’t find a house, that my placement might somehow get changed (the TFA Deltan rumor mill is quite active), that I wouldn’t be able to get out of the Delta. Right now, I am still itchy, but ready to sign a lease on a 3-bedroom, 2-bath, spacious house, I have signed my insurance and employment paperwork with Sunflower County, and I have plans to head back to the north.

The difference between these two mental states has mainly been a LOT of talking, with the other people placed in the Cleveland area, who are all marvelously laid back, with landlords, who are characters. A lot of walking in the heat. We looked mostly at houses in Cleveland, which is 8 miles from Ruleville and the home of Delta State University.

Some more neat news from the past few days: there will be a TFA Institute in the Delta next summer! Logistically, I do not envy the organizers, but it will be a wonderful experience for the community, and for incoming rural corps members.

Now to my title: the mosquitos are ferocious here. My ankles are 80% bites, 20% skin. Not likely that I’ll escape the wrath of the bloodsuckers back home, either. Buy stock in Off, folks, I will be helping them out considerably. Ma’am because Deltans are to be addressed as sir or ma’am. I find myself drawling here without thinking about it. Things work rather differently here. A friend of mine found a house through word-of-mouth, and acquired it through a handshake with “Mr. Bill Jr. and Mr. Bill Sr.” over at Bill’s Auto Shop. Driving times vary considerably depending on whether or not you get stuck behind a piece of farm equipment (this only seems to happen when you are most in a hurry). And oh, it is hot.  It shouldn’t be long, though, until I am a bit cooler, and I am now much closer to my classroom and a back yard of my own with sunflowers growing in it.

The Most Annoying Sound in the World

July 13th, 2009

That would be the fire alarm that is going off right now (and by that, I mean when I wrote this on 7/12/09) at the Delta State Dorms. Yes, I should be outside, and was, but it’s pretty clear that nothing is actually on fire, so I returned. It’s been a rough day. The drive back to the Delta was long but lovely—the landscape is beautiful. We got in too late to check in, so that was my first order of business this morning. I waited in line for someone to tell me what I already knew: that I’ve completed the requirements I need to be certified. The suite situation here is hardly ideal. If a certain drawer is left open, one room cannot get into the bathroom. I’d been eagerly awaiting the shower (did I mention the air conditioning is also out? I’m so jealous of my friend who went home to Michigan today to 60 degree weather. It may not be appreciated up north when you long for summer, but after a month of 90 plus…). And then the fire alarm went off.

I also found out that one possible ride back up north will be leaving before I am able to, so if you are, or know, a person currently in the Delta who is passing through or near Milwaukee on or after July 17 and is able and willing to take on a passenger, please, please, let me know.

Moving on

July 11th, 2009

The summer of teaching ended on an anti-climatic note: my student didn’t show up for his last day of class. I gave my lesson, but to a group of fellow CMs. As much of a letdown as it was, it was a really good experience, because they all did a great job of modeling student behavior–some that I hadn’t actually experienced in the classroom this year. Frustrated as I was, it was better to learn in a room full of colleagues and friends than in my own classroom in the fall.

Things were even more anti-climatic because of our school’s four days with students per week instead of five. Friday was set aside to more sessions (of course), reflection, cleanup, and farewell. I’ve said it before, but I’m going to miss my CMA and group a ton. Besides the teaching and the students, these people were the best part of Institute. I’m so glad several of them are coming with me to the Delta–I only wish I could steal everyone, but their regions need them too.

That said, there are plenty of things I won’t miss: hot/cold/hot/burning!/cold showers, the lack of light in Moody, lunches in blue lunch boxes, for a start. I’ve realized, being in Houston, how lucky it is that I was placed in a rural region. I would have great difficulty living happily in Houston, at least. Maybe it’s Houston in particular and not cities in general, but I’m so glad that I won’t have to deal with traffic jams, and that I’ll be able to see the stars at night.

Onwards to the Delta. No internet access at Delta State, so likely no update for a few days at least.


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